But You Look So Good!

By Joy Sakamoto

No one asks me about my scars

Except doctors, but that’s their job

Though sometimes, even they take them for granted

If they’ve read my chart, they know to expect them

If they haven’t, there’s a brief moment of shock

A pause

Only once has someone sucked in a breath and exhaled


The rest let their doctor masks fall into place

Before the fabric ones come on


The questions begin

About my history

My eating habits

My weight

Past diagnoses

Past prognoses

Past labs and endless tests


No one really asks about the scars

How they can hurt when the temperature drops

How they bisect my body upwards and now sideways

We used to joke they should just install a zipper

So they could go back in whenever they want

No one asks how it feels

Every morning when I look into the mirror

Sometimes I see a warrior

Sometimes all I see is pain

But most of the time, my eyes just glaze over

It’s just another day after all

And it’s time to get dressed.

\"\"Joy’s mission is to live up to her name. Her career took a few turns — from aerospace recruiter to music journalist, executive assistant to student and sometimes radio dj. Writing has been her constant, whether on a Macbook, a leather journal, or a bar napkin using a hotel ball point. She can be contacted at shadeofcat@gmail.com.

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